Staff Editorial: To find the perfect date, ditch the advice

The Relationship IQ buzz on campus has revealed and inspired varying attitudes about dating at Pepperdine. While “the experts” divulge the tricks of the trade— from when to call to when to “determine the relationship”— skeptics question how relevant their advice is to this generation. A recent editorial by social scientists and Pepperdine professors Cindy and Robin Perrin, a married couple, criticized the Dating Initiative by calling it “patriarchal.”

While both parties are well-meaning, giving college students advice about dating is like trying to teach 3-year-olds chess— you can explain all the rules, but in the end all you’ll get is queens all over the place and knights getting their heads chewed off.

With all the insane students running around our campus, no one dating model can possibly encompass how to deal with each and every one.

But by entering the dating world with their eyes open and their head on our shoulders, students can avoid some of the worst problems of the dating world. With that in mind, we have compiled a list of some of the dating “personas” we’ve come across— the good, the bad and the ugly:

The one who overdresses. There are two varieties: The guy who shows up in a tux to take you to the mall, and the girl who spends all day plucking, grooming, coiffing and changing outfits because her scarf doesn’t match her toe ring. Avoid at all costs.

The one who underdresses. No shoes, no shirt, no date. Keep your thongs and Speedos at home... at least on the first date.

The one who talks about an ex. We know already, she’s the anti-Christ, he lost your CDs and you can’t believe who you saw them with. They clearly haven’t moved on, so avoid at all costs.

The ones that break up over turkey. So you’ve tried your hand at long distance, but you’re ready to cash out. Thanksgiving break is inevitably a time to break up with or get dumped by last summer’s leftovers. We’ve got tissues.

The one who drinks too much ... always has to pee.

The one who orders for their date. Control freak. Avoid at all costs.

The one who divulges their whole life story on the first date. You got to the appetizers just as Fido died. By the time you’re at the entree, you’ve heard all about her Beanie Baby collection and her daddy issues. TMI. Pretend you have a family emergency and avoid eye contact.

The one who can’t decide whether or not to kiss you. He leans in, he backs off, maybe he misses? Guys, man up. Girls, avoid at all costs.

The one who asks you out and then needs a ride. Self-explanatory. Don’t ask someone out to get a ride to the movies, either.

The one without a plan. “What do you wanna do?” and “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” The answer is probably “Not sitting here planning the date you asked me on,” so don’t ask if you don’t want the answer.

The one who drops the “L” bomb too soon. It’s the third date. If you just got to the point where you can share a water bottles, she doesn’t love you.

The “that’s what she said” guy. It wasn’t funny the first time, it won’t be funny the seventh time, or the 13th.

The one who cries revenge. So you broke up, simultaneously summoning the beast. They spam your Facebook wall, stalk your friends and attempt to sabotage any new love interests. Change your passwords.

The persistent texter. It starts with one text that goes ignored. Then, in two-minute increments, they’ve flooded your inbox with “where are you?” “what are you doing?” and “what are you gonna do later?” Perhaps even a “Don’t you love me anymore?” Avoid at all costs.   

The one. The one who drives you crazy but in a good way, the one that you could live a lifetime with, and the one that no amount of advice can ever give you.