Greeks: buy your friends, sell your souls
Greek recruitment is so shallow. I believe it is a superficial tool of the devil that beguiles students into squandering money that might be better used if donated toward the Lord’s Kingdom. What are the most effective ways through which I might spread the word this rush week?
Dear Sophomore Prophet,
While I don’t necessarily agree with your dramatic stance on the condemnation of all Greek Life participants, it is regardless an opinion held by a (very select) number of non-affiliated students here at Pepperdine. Thus, I will do my best to suggest creative ways in which you might singlehandedly bring down the system that you view as the source of your friendless, oppressed existence.
1. Stage a Protest
It’s about time Pepperdine joined the ranks of politically active and globally engaged U.S. campuses. Despite your rather trite campaign concept, any activism is better than no activism, right? Grab some butcher paper, pipe cleaners, glitter and paint and release your artistic abilities in the crafting of glaring, bright protest posters. Now, grab those posters and head down to the sidewalk between Firestone and the tennis courts on, say, a Monday afternoon. That way, the number of people who care about what you have to say will definitely be able to hear you.
2. Launch an Internet Assault
Nothing displays a set of strong leadership skills like passive-aggressively using the Pepperdine Meme page as an outlet for every bitter verbal quip you’ve spent months revising and perfecting in your mind, staring angrily out the window of your first floor Lovernich apartment, sitting hunched over your laptop poised for attack. Nothing says, “I’m better than you” (from either side of an argument) like engaging with your rivals in the most pathetic and base forum for communication: Facebook.
People who resent Greek life enough to actually act on it make me feel sad inside. While I don’t condone the obnoxious actions of certain Greek participants who advertise their superiority complex, I find myself even more disgusted by those non-affiliated students who devote time and energy into protesting something that many others work hard to improve and promote. Thus, if you still feel compelled to get in everyone’s face about how much money is wasted in the purchase of superficial friendships, maybe look into a school with no Greek life, or better yet, try SMU, where students will no doubt take kindly to all those social reforms you have planned as part of your groundbreaking revolutionary campaign.
Perhaps further investigate the polarization you perceive on campus. Is it between Greeks and non-Greeks? Or could it be between you and everyone else?